Dear Taylor Swift

I apologize for my absence lately - I've been doing a poor job of time management. I'm working on getting more posts together so I'll be back on a regular basis! This is going to be a semi-regular feature where I write letters to celebrities.

Dear Taylor,

All right girl, it's time to be real. You've got more than a habit - it's an addiction. You require some major, major intervention.

First off, let me say, I have enjoyed many of your songs. My best friend and I went through a phase in college where we were listening to "Love Story" every day. Your songs were cute and chirpy and occasionally a little angsty when it was a breakup song. 

Years later, your songs are still cute, chirpy, and a little angsty. 

Girl, I don't know if you've noticed this, but you're not fifteen anymore. I'm not saying you're living a normal lifestyle by any means - you make more in one week than I'll probably make in my lifetime - but you're in your early 20s now, and that means you've hit the point in life where you should start considering who you are and what life is about. Start writing songs about discovering yourself - not about how your latest boyfriend is so amazing or how much it hurt when he dumped you.

This is a good transition into my next topic - Taylor, you have a serious dating problem. Let's refresh memories, shall we? First, let's just point out that you were born in December 1989, making you 23, currently. Your dating roster looks like this:

Joe Jonas - July to October 2008 (he was 19/20, she was 18)
Taylor Lautner - October to December 2009 (he was 17, she was 19/20)
John Mayer - late 2009 to early 2010 (he was 32, she was 20)
Jake Gyllenhaal - October to December 2010 (he was 29/30, she was 20/21)
Conor Kennedy - July to September 2012 (he was 18, she was 22)
Harry Styles - October 2012 to January 2013 (he was 19, she was 22/23)

So why are the ages important? Because you really need to go back to dating someone your own age. Find someone who is in the same stage of life you're in. That may be one major part of the whole "not breaking up" thing.

And let's take it all one step further - when you do break up with someone, don't make it public. I realize your life tends to be pretty public, but that doesn't mean you need to write songs that are pretty obviously about them, or make digs at them on national award shows, or whatever else. You've become a joke. Don't be a joke, be a lady. Ladies don't let the entire world know when they're irritated with a guy. Ladies are discreet.

My advice to you - take some time off. Don't look for a date. When  you do find a guy, try to make sure you're in the same stage of life and he's not in the spotlight for anything. In the meantime, go find a private beach or something (I hear Mustique is lovely). Enroll in some college courses (ask Emma Watson about being a celebrity in college, she could probably give you some hints). Figure out who you are as an individual. You've been Taylor Swift the musician and Taylor Swift the girlfriend for so long during this critical time in your life - just be you.